69 Best Funny Pumpkin Jokes

Published on:

No Halloween is complete without pumpkins! Get here the list of some funny pumpkin jokes if you are looking for pumpkin fun.

1 to 24 Funny Pumpkin Jokes

1. A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern, “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?” The jack-o’-lantern replies, “I don’t have the guts.”

2. How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.

3. What are gourds afraid of? Things that go pumpkin the night.

4. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin? “Oh my gord!”

5. What did one Pumpkin say to the other? “Happy Hollowing!”

Read: Best Turkey Jokes

6. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? “You look a little sick.”

7. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? “Good-pie, everyone.”

8. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? “Use apples, instead.”

9. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? “Cut it out.”

10. What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? Go bungee gourd jumping.

11. What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern? A plumpkin.

12. What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.

13. What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy? A mushy romance.

14. What’s black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a pumpkin.

15. What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.

16. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

17. When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say? “I’m vine, thanks!”

18. Where do pumpkins hold meetings? The gourdroom.

19. Where do pumpkins like to live? In the seedy part of town.

20. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.

21. Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school? Because they had all their brains scooped out.

22. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.

23. How do you carve a pumpkin? You just pro-seed

24. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.

25 to 46 Funny Pumpkin Jokes

25. What did the pumpkin say when he was picked? At least my whole life wasn’t in vine.

26. What do pumpkins call their family? Their pump-kin

27. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life-gourd.

28. What do you call a pumpkin with sunglasses, a fur coat and a gold chain? A pimp-kin

29. What do you call people who sail the globe and steal pumpkins? Pumpkin pie-rates

30. What do you call the master of pumpkin jokes? The pun-king

31. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.

32. What do you get if you smash a pumpkin? Pumpkin squash

33. What pumpkins order at Starbucks? Human-spice latte

34. What was the pumpkin doing at the gym? Pumpkin iron

35. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.

36. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.

37. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western? The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.

38. Where is the best place to put your pumpkin? On a veggie-table

39. Which is the scariest Halloween pumpkin? Donald J Trumpkin

40. Who first discovered that hollowed out pumpkins can be used for light? Jack O’ Lantern

41. Who rules over the other pumpkins? The Pump King

42. Why did everyone think the jack-o-lantern was evil? It had a wicked candle inside it.

43. Why don’t you eat pumpkin leaves? It leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

44. Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

45. Why was the gourd so gossip-y? To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.

46. Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful? Because he’s empty-headed.

47 to 69 Funny Pumpkin Jokes

47. How do pumpkins great each other? With a fist pump-kin

48. How do you deal with a pumpkin addiction? Put on a pumpkin patch

49. What decorations did Michael Jackson put up on Halloween? Wacko Jacko Lanterns

50. What did the one pumpkin say to the other pumpkin on Halloween? Hello ween!

51. What did the one ripening pumpkin say to the other ripening pumpkin? Orange you glad it’s Fall?

52. What did the pumpkin say to the guy carving him? Cut it out!

53. What do pumpkins call the time of year when they get hollowed out and turned into decorations? Hollow-ween

54. What do pumpkins do in Fall? Fall off the vine.

55. What do pumpkins say before they get baked? Good-pie

56. What do pumpkins wear on their feet? Pumps

57. What do you call a country bumpkin on Halloween? A country pumpkin

58. What do you need to carve out pumpkins on Halloween? A haunting license

59. What is black, white and orange? A penguin carrying a pumpking

60. What’s a pumpkin’s favourite film? Pulp Fiction

61. Who do pumpkins leave their possessions to? Their next of pump-kin

62. Who finds Halloween the scariest? Pumpkins

63. Who helps pumpkins cross the road? The crossing gourd

64. Why are pumpkins great to make pie with? They’re filling

65. Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon

66. Why did the pumpkin go from orange to red? He saw the salad dressing

67. Why didn’t the Jack O’ Lantern do well at school? He was empty headed

68. Why was Cinderella bad at football? Her coach was a pumpkin.

69. Why was the Jack O Lantern sad? He was empty inside